I am but an animation
in this divine illustration
laughing at my
self importance
wondering what fear came before it
mulling over the purpose for it
did it mask the self abhorrence?
and in which organ did I store it?
taking myself less seriously
letting laughter be a remedy
Split parents
Split ends
Split beginnings
That begin again
Split tongue
Split skin
I have split in many ways
Personality splays
Split and splintered
Until
Only a fibre was left
A frill
Placebo-producing ills
Alcohol, a lover, a pill
Running at the heels
of the initial thrill
Reality split
Into infinite pieces
Split ideals
So I could heal
Betrayal of the peculiar face twitch
heaving with limitations
My hand swatted
at the desperation in my joints
as my blood became
too heavy for my body
I must be rid of anxiety
Am I in over my head?
ask the right questions
so that the doubt remains unfed
listen for its lessons
To remain unmoved by the dread
trust in the Universe more often
or lie down in a spiritual coffin
those were my two options
my ego bucked
and ran amok
then surrendered from pure exhaustion